Hercules 1997 Aired on ABC (May 1999) Part 1
(The camera opens in on a museum hallway featuring Greek statues and vases) * Narrator: Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. (A Greek vase is shown with a picture of Hercules fighting a monster. Vase zooms in slowly) But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is-- * Thalia: Will you listen to him? He's making the story sound like some Greek tragedy. * Terpsichore: Lighten up, dude. * Calliope: We'll take it from here, darling. * Narrator: You go, girls. * Calliope: We are the Muses. Goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes. * Terpsichore: Heroes like Hercules! * Thalia: Darling, you mean "hunk-ules". Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with him-- * (Muses start humming) * Calliope: Our story actually begins long before Hercules, many eons ago...... * (scene changes colors as the Muses start walking and singing) * Back if the world was new, * The planet Earth was down on its luck. * And everywhere gigantic brutes, * Called Titans ran amok! * It was a nasty place! * There was a mess wherever you stepped. * Where chaos reigned and earthquakes, * and volcanoes never slept! * And then along came Zeus! * He hurled his thunderbolt, * He zapped! * Locked these suckers in a vault! * They're trapped! * And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks. * And that's the gospel truth! * The guy was too type A to relax. * And that's the world's first dish. * Zeus tamed the globe while yet in his youth. * Though, darling, it seem impossible-- * That's the gospel truth! * On Mount Olympus, life was neat * and smooth as sweet vermouth. * Though, darling, it seem impossible-- * That's the gospel truth! * (schematic picture of Olympus zooms in and turns into a real one. While the Muses yet repeat their "ah's and yeses", camera moves up the mountain slope, while it does so, the movie title, "Hercules" is shown. Then camera goes inside, passes various chattering gods and finds baby Hercules) * Hera: Hercules! Behave yourself. * (Zeus comes in to play with the baby as well) * Zeus: Oh, look at this, look how cute he is..... (Zeus blubbers at baby Hercules and he catches Zeus by index finger and lifts him above the cradle) Hah! Oh, he's strong! Like his Dad, huh? * Hermes: (moving through a crowd of gods) Whoa! Excuse me! Hot stuff coming through! Excuse me one side, Ares! (Hermes hands Hera a bundle of glowing flowers) * Hera: Why, Hermes, they're lovely. * Hermes: Yes, you know, I had Orpheus do the arrangement. Isn't that too nutty? (flying closer to Zeus now) Famous party, you know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself! * (Narcissus is shown, staring into his mirror and making kissing sounds. Also, Baby Hercules gets one of Zeus' lightning bolts and plays with it) * Hera: Dear, keep these away from the baby. * Zeus: Oh, he won't hurt himself. Let the child have a little fun! * (Baby Hercules tries to eat the lightning bolt, gets zapped and throws it away in frustration. Three gods jump away from its path, until Athena hits it with her sword where it hits a pillar, which immediately reappears) * Zeus: Oh, on behalf of my son, I want to thank you all for your wonderful gifts. * Hera: What about our gift, dear? * Zeus: Well, let's see here...we'll take, huh, yes, a little cirrus, and, huh, a touch of nimbostratus and a dash of cumulus. (Zeus moves his hand with a little Pegasus-shaped cloud on it closer to baby Hercules, and the cloud turns out to be baby Pegasus) His name is Pegasus, and he's all yours, son. * (Baby Hercules bonks his forehead against Baby Pegasus. He neighs and licks Hercules. They hug, letting all the gods sigh) * Hera: Mind his head. * Zeus: He's so tiny. (Baby Hercules tries to bite the medallion that hangs from his neck and then yawns) My boy. My little Hercules.